Are you interested in buying a home or have you bought a house from a builder? A brand spanking new house that no-one has ever lived in? Were you involved in the construction process? Did you get to follow the building process with the builder? If so, did you have a say in some odd construction details that just nagged at you?

Brand new home buyers are not builders. They put their money where their mouth is and they depend on the contracted builder to do right by them. More often than not, home builders go above and beyond the expectations of the buyer but sometimes crazy stuff can happen.

The following is just a small snippet of some of the bad consequences that can happen when there is no true oversight.

Enjoy, and be thankful that your property, your builder or even your city is not on the list. 

 

Construction_mistakes_2Has anyone noticed that one side of the ladder is a little longer than the other and it would take a lot of ump to get over that wall? Oh yea, there might be a problem with the window too!!!!

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Here’s our tax payer dollars at work. Note to self: Invest in Jacking Companies.

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Hmmmm…… Do I really want to find that wooden spoon or do I really want to know what’s stashed at the back of this drawer? Spoon stash, spoon stash…..hmmm tough call, it may just be child proof! (And adult, crazy people proof).

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So you want to have a sit down conversation? I know the perfect place where we can chat and let it all out.

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One toilet, five sinks…. hmmmm…. there must be high expectations that the toilet user needs some serious sink time. Privacy? What privacy? You’re on the internet what kind of privacy do you expect? Wait until you see the super spy camera hidden behind the TV. Just be glad the photo didn’t include an image of you.

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What knuckle head came up with this bright idea? “You want stairs, I’ll give you stairs. I’ll even throw in a free helmet. What-a deal, what-a deal”.

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Eureka, I finally found a way to both pee and paint my toe nails. Look out, a floor level toilet is coming to a neighborhood near you.

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Banking made easy. They are making it easy for you not to be able to access your money. Banks are friendly, after all they are trying to make you think twice and really take that leap before you withdraw any money from their coffers.

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This was intentionally written for drunk drivers. We need to bow down and thank the magnificent city planners that are spending our tax dollars and protecting us from cross eyed, bad spelling, drunk drivers.

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This is how not to get to the other side! Forget bridge to no where, what about steps to nowhere. Please stop when you get to the top.

construction_mistakes_14 Let’s have a party! Ooh and by the way, are your brake pads good? If not then please park on the street. We do provide climbing ropes but high heals are not advised. See you up here soon. High altitude wine is perfect 🙂

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Somebody get the duct tape. Fast, stat, quick whatever you want to call it, we have a problem!!! Nah don’t worry, our taxpayers are willing to pay for this itty bitty hiccup. And anyway, somebody somewhere is coming out with a car that can fly, so it’s all good. Remember our city planners planned this, so we need to have complete faith that not only did they know that this would happen but they have a great solution to the problem. Three cheers for our very smart city planners.

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Back to shitty toilets. Oh Dear!!! The only thing I see missing from this picture is the crown the toilet user wears. It may be hidden behind that blue fish covered shower curtain. Wait a minute, I can see the shower so what’s that blue thing for? I’m confused, I think I’ll just focus on the throne. I’m bowing now but all I can see is red.

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So you wanted electricity? You really wanted it? Well you got it and we give our consumers what they want irregardless of our idiotic plans to develop the neighborhood, it’s your dime and our development plans are none of your concern. Just because you got your electrical pole before we got around to putting in a road does not mean you win. We can work around that and if anyone hits that pole in the middle of the night, it’s your fault. But we have a solution for that too. You can pay us $95 a month for a light on that pole so that drivers can see it. Aren’t we great? We installed a pole for you, then we built a road for you, then we offer a way for you to protect yourself from any damages caused by the pole we were legally required to install. We can also move the pole for you at the low cost of a few thousand dollars as a way to let your neighbors know what a great neighbor you are. There’s no need to thank us. We are a private company that has the monopoly in this area so your thanks come to our shareholders & elected officials in the form of bonuses. Oh and just an FYI, if you don’t contract with us to move that pole, we will cut your power off in 30 days. Have a great day. BTW we work for you, the consumer!

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I don’t know where this track is located but there’s something about the little squiggly lines that make me nervous. I bet the rail crew are some handsome, rugged looking men but I’m not sure they get the whole ‘getting from point A to point B thing’. Needless to say, if you ride on this track you’re in for a big adventure. Good luck!

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You think Big Brother is watching you? Well watch out, there’s others out there watching you watching them. Putting a camera behind a TV is smart because………? Oh wait, I get it, a super secretive laser can see through solid objects, then watch what your watching and monitor your every move. Very clever!

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So that’s how brotherly love started. Here I was thinking it had to do with emotions, feelings, attraction and all that other stuff. Who knew that strategically placed urinals had anything to do with it.

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There is so much precious flat land around us that we don’t want anything to change that, so let’s just keep our road ways and utilities in the same place so none of the rest of our land will be disturbed. Wait a minute, what is that you say? The well worn country road was there decades before some big electrical company blew in and decided that out of all this land, the only place the can put a utility pole is in the middle of your road. “Say it ain’t true, say it ain’t true”.

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Where on earth did they find blue toilet paper? The people that use this toilet must be very, very special. I wanna try, I wanna try, I can sit sideways too!

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Yeah, just follow the poles. My house is the fourth pole down on the right. You can’t miss it, particularly if you hit it.